Mint On A Pillow

I’m confident you’ll agree: She’s worth it.

Her hair is on fire and exactly where she wants it.

Ribs in place and I can see her breathe.

A walk may take several hours. May have to wait in line. May have to go back several times before the right method is known. May even get pushback from others, family, friends, neighborhood. But you go.

You go because you know what is on the other side of that trip. The promise of the pills, or the shot, or the implant.

You go because you know you will feel a little lighter, a little more at ease. You go because the trip means you no longer have to worry. It means you can stay. It means you can work. You can grown. She can grow. It means you can concentrate.

I had this vision:

I come back after leaving, or falling out of love, or running away.
I come back. Because I realize she was great. Is great.
I want to tell her that.
I want to make love to her again.
Tell her she set a bar that has never been matched.
Tell her I want to try again because I understand her worth and our power.
I’m ready to sleep
With nothing between us.
All night I travel with the breath of love, an easy breath.
I take advice from the birds
The patience of nature
The stillness of insects
I fly across the water
Skip across a river
Thoughtless.
I buy her a skirt with pockets filled with seeds
A vase with tears and sweat
We will grow
Our garden divine.
We will dance.
She will take me back tenderly.
I will make it back, finally. I make it back. Finally.

I shouldn’t have left.

I am

I am how you make time
I am not time.
I am vibration
Fingertips
I am the parts that never get touched
Afraid to speak
Coming back
I come to soon
I am the failure to come.
I am the song in the shower
A whisper in the dark
A door
A brick built for throwing
A fear of sunsets
I make love
Lost in a castle
A 4am nightmare
Trapped on a bridge
A 5 am sunrise
Treating it badly
In respect of the moon
I am the beginning
Forgetting the important days
Everything
Remembering the letters
The muse
If only to myself
I am enough
Building kites
Designing Kisses
I am a ski mask
An opera
A thousand mask
A tremendous distance
I am the breathe
A party
A bottle
Here
Real
Enough to fill the vase
Cover the grounds
Sprout seeds
An open mouth
Alone
Forgotten
Lost
Yearning
The constant erection
Hungry
I am deleted history
I am daydreams
The ocean
The light
The puke
Standing waist deep
Loving
Withdrawn
Taken for granted
I am not now
I am dust
After footprints
Stuck
A loud prayer
The ER
A painful swallow
Flying away
A broken cloud
A gospel hymn
Every bad memory
Every whisper
Every scream
Every shaking star
And the space between
Hollow
I am not him
I am not her
Gods
Goddesses
Holy holy
Scripture
I am sex for pain
Ruby
Sex for pleasure
Red
Spread out
Cut deep
Itching
Losing
Bones
A single gesture
A single person
A bad joke
Color
What’s longed for
Weight on shoulders
Blood
Water
A slow dance
Infinite
Slower
Dancing
Doesn’t feel right
Doesn’t feel wrong
Doesn’t feel right

I let go

…

“How can one man do everything he’s supposed to do in one lifetime?”

Just before you come

I will remove the dead from this tree.
I will let in the light
I will let in the air
& I will water just before you come.
It’ll look prettiest this way.
I’ll turn it so the brightest colors face you.
Because its really about first sight.
The beauty of the morning is that it’s not dead yet
What you wake up to matters.
I want you to think I did the right thing.
I didn’t let a living thing die.
I want think these are capable hands.
I want you to think I do not forget.

Have you told them?

If not, you should.
Why anticipate the worst?
If you want to see her, tell her.
She bought you mouth wash.
That’s invitation to stay.
If it matters let the world know.
One can only hope you let yourself fall hard enough to break.
There’s a mouthwash for that
And a glue
And another apartment
And another partner
And another story
And another adventure.
Why the secret?
Own it. Be proud. Shout it from rooftops. Whisper it to strangers. Write a song. Loose it in the cupboard. Write a 100 silly but cute ass poems. Turn them into kites. Light up the basement. Make it your art, your journey, your purpose.
Sacrifice your hours.
Lean on three legged tables.
Get lunch with the person you want to get lunch with.
Look at yourself. Say it in the bathroom… “Wow. This feels good… You want to shower with me?”
You want more. You’ll have more.
Tell the stars so at night you can see her better.
Have you told them?
If not, you should.

I didn’t know anybody who knew anybody.

She found enlightenment,

Im still in need

of same ol’ same ol’.

She found God, prayer, meditation

I found myself apologizing for not being able to control myself with her.

Coming to kiss the feet of mercy.

Life is so ironic. It takes sadness to know happiness, noise to appreciate silence, and absence to value presence.

Now I can trade these ashes in for beauty and wear forgiveness like a crown. Cuming to kiss the feet of mercy; I lay every burden down at the feet and bathe them.

And You’ve won my heart, yes, You’ve won my heart. 

My Life Is A Story

About who God is and what He does in a human heart.

It’s not what it is
It’s what it’s not.

Everybody wants it and everybody is afraid of it

It means exposing yourself to a stranger

(we are even strangers to ourselves)

Don’t waste your days in hypocrisy

Don’t waste your days in fear.

You have been told that you were born in sin. 

Man has not been born in sin, but in innocence. 

Don’t postpone life

Don’t wait for tomorrow

It never comes

Live it today.

Let life start caressing you today.

Flowing through you today.

Stop improving yourself and life will improve you

Today.

Don’t talk to strangers
You might fall in love

When you came home

You were so open.
Like an instrument with no string
Put into a virtuosos hands who needs no touch to play the harmony.
No case to protect the tune.

You’ve felt it, haven’t you?
Those feelings that seem to get so big in your chest, like something is so beautiful it aches?
An impulse inside you can’t deny?
The drive to do it hurts
Not doing it hurts more?

You have felt it haven’t you?

Sing me a song
Show me the book where all my sins are written.

I want to walk with you

I want to come home with you

We will never escape who we were

but we can learn who we are.